Diverging Paths

 

by Sailorpanda
poems by Ryan Drake

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 1: Longing

I see an endless expanse of calm, 
     placid waters, that hide too well,
     the turbulence within. 
If only to know the true extent of that struggle, 
     your struggle.

Silently looking down upon the calm waters of the sea below the cliff on which he stood alone, away from prying eyes of enemy or ally, he was reminded of her and the past. Not just the blue of her eyes which seemed to shift with her moods just as the color of water changed with varying degrees of light, but how her spirit had seemed to teem with life and energy despite the calm fascade she sometimes appeared to present even in the face of danger.

It had always been so, ever since she had first crossed his path, unwittingly throwing him off balance when she had stood there in foolish bravery whilst pointing the sword that he thought would be obtained by him. She had done what he had not thought possible for one of her kind, freeing the sword he had searched for so long when he had been unable to do so and surprising him as few of any race had been able to do and live to tell about it.

That first meeting had begun it all. Since then, he had often wondered how his thoughts had seemed to become more and more consumed by her as time went on. In the beginning, thoughts of her had wafted across his mind so vaguely and briefly as to be nearly negligible and hardly of any note. But as the encounters between them increased, so did the frequency of her appearance in his consciousness.

It was because of power and the question concerning hers that had made him so preoccupied with her.

That is what he had told himself. Perhaps it had been true once upon a time. He had, after all, puzzled over the mystery of how a human had been able to break the seal on his father's mighty legacy when the awesome powers of youkai had failed to do so. He had been certain that there had to be more to the seemingly normal human who had been able to accomplish such a feat.

As he continued to ponder the matter in his mind, there had been a part of him that had opened more to curiosity about her, wanting to know more about the circumstances that had brought their paths crossing, desiring knowledge about the oddities surrounding her from her odd ways of dress to her mannerisms which seemed so different from that of other lowly humans he had been unfortunate enough to stumble across in his travels.

The fire in you eyes ignites my own excitement. 
     to be a part of the life you have led. 
Yet then I would not be myself, 
     I go.

With the curiosity about her aroused in his mind, he had somehow found himself coming across her and her traveling companion time and time again, more times than he cared to count and times of which she was unaware. There were occasions where he had stumbled across the two travelers and had been able to use his greater skill to conceal his presence from their knowledge, had been able to watch their interactions with each other unobserved and undetected, became intrigued with their actions towards one another.

Then he had found himself desirous of switching places with her companion.

In all his long years of life, such a thing had never happened before. When one such as himself felt the first inklings of wishing to be a hanyou, he had realized the danger, the beginnings of journeying down a path he should not take nor had any intentions of doing so. And so, he had decided it the wisest course to keep his distance and leave the travelers free of his unnoticed presence.


You have become another piece of my past. 
     a great joy in my showing me to grow strong. 
Like so many other things, 
     you now hold me back, so long as I hold tight. 
I cannot reach my highest bound. 
     if bounds limit me at all. 

With you in my life right now.

Although his intent had been to stay away, events had not worked out to that effect as new enemies had arisen to the forefront and made the acquisition of greater strength even more necessary. Remembering how he had been led by one of the worst foes he had encountered to date into once more facing those he had resolved to avoid had familiar irritation rising in him again though such emotions never expressed themselves visibly.

However, his intention to see the spider fall remained as strong as it had since the incident where he had used the insect's entrapped arm and failed a second time in reclaiming his father's legacy. Such an insidious enemy that used any weaknesses of his opponents was to be respected but he could not forgive such a one for using such tactics against himself. He who ruled over the Western Lands could not let such a transgression remain unpunished.

To face such an enemy, he must show no weaknesses by which the spider would surely use to advantage.

And so, once again, he had resolved not to give in to his interest in watching the travelers as they continued in their hunt for the shards in which their enemies held desire for as well. To show such a regard for her and her companions would be to point the way to weakness, inviting the preying spider to feast. And that was something he could not allow. He must show no flaws in his guard to be used against him and that meant keeping his distance, continuing on his own journey to obtain his goal of delivering the fatal blow to the spider once and for all.

My mentor, 
     My lover, 
          My friend. 

I have stepped into the oceans of your life. 
     felt the current pull at my body, my soul.

Still, adhering to his resolution had been a trying task that he had been unable to keep. There had been a brief moment of aberration on his part when he taken up his observations once again on the traveling company, had been approached by her one night away from the prying eyes of her comrades.

She'd caught him off guard once again on that night, detecting his presence when he had thought himself concealed so well that even that hanyou had failed to notice his being there. He had been certain then, was certain even now, that she possessed mysterious powers that seemed to grow stronger with the passage of time.He had been eager and curious about the mysteries that appeared to cloak her and had, in the solitude of the shadowy forest that surrounded the two of them, found himself opening to her in a way he had never done to any other being and never would have if other eyes had been watching them.

That night was only for the two of them, the memory of which he was certain was kept in secret pleasure by her just as it was for him.

Although he had felt a drastic change within him to the depths of his soul after that, in ways he had never intended, he could not bring himself to regret it. She had shown him, taught him, that emotions he thought to be a weakness could be turned into a strength surpassing even that which he could only dream of possessing. And he had taken comfort, confided in her as he had no other in a manner he had previously before would never have dreamed of doing as he had found himself drawn towards her more and more.

Like the waters that drip from my hands, 
  I must let it flow up to and away from me. 

I must let you, 
  who is my beautiful sea, 
    deep blue of mystery,
      lively green of passion, 
        a composed surface that conceals such pain,
         frustration, 
Go.  

However, such a time for them was not meant to last. They had ended up parting but, like the seas that enclosed his island homeland upon which he stood, the memories of her and the brief moments they shared surrounded him always, unbeknownst to all but the two of them. Thoughts of her, the changing blue hues of her eyes, the mysterious aura that seemed to hover around her, her zest for life, were never far from his mind as was the faint regret he felt at leaving her with her companions to deal with the hardships that came with their quest. Though she had said no words, instinct gave him the knowledge that the trials she had faced with her tender heart had pained her to no end.

But at that time, there had been nothing he could do without having her become a weakness to be exploited and used against him.

And so they had separated to travel on separate paths once more, he on his own journey with his vassal while she continued on with her comrades which had grown since when first they had met. The number and strength of her companions, though mainly mortal, had been reassurance that she would fair better from the size of her party against the enemy and freed him to forge forth on his own quest which had taken him to places where mere humans were forbidden to tread. Such measures were necessary and firmed his resolve to keep his distance once more until their enemy was stricken down and then perhaps, perhaps, there would be an opportunity for more. But until that day was to come, for now their paths must remain diverged.

I see an endless expanse...

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Chapter 2: Together

This broth of life,
As it slips easily down my throat. 
     warmth into the soul that cannot exist,
     in any more of a wonderful way. 
Rejuvenation and life.

He was certain that this was what humans called "contentment"as he knew no other way to describe his current condition, being far beyond the realms of what most other pure-blooded youkai were given to.

From his own experience, he was well aware that those of his kind were consumed with a restlessness, a hungering desire for something more whether it be for power or otherwise, that drove them to wander the lands in order to search out the means to put a surcease to the indefinable longings that possessed them. It was a fruitless quest as youkai were rarely satisfied with their findings, always greedy for more and consuming as much as possible in an effort to stave off the emptiness that demanded to be filled yet never was. After all, it was impossible to satisfy a craving when one did not know its source.

He had been similar once upon a time, but he had risen up and away from the likeness to his brethren as, unlike them, he now understood the source of his longings.

Although, achieving such a feat was not something that he had been able to accomplish alone. Perhaps that was the reason that the majority of youkai were never satisfied, because they were too possessive of their privacy to let another within the protective barrier of emotional walls and glimpse their weaknesses for fear of losing their strength and power. With that crucial step remaining untaken, youkai were unable to move forward and grasp that which they unknowingly longed for but mistook for a hungering for more to be consumed. And so, they continued to stay in that cold and lifeless state of limbo, ever searching for that elusive something that would complete them but remained ever out of reach, unaware of the true prize that he had finally obtained.

He now reveled in the knowledge that he had been able to rise above the rest of his kind, been able to overcome his doubts and find the strength to reach for and strive towards the answer to his longings. And this was his reward, the now, the memories of what had occurred to reach this point, the memories that were still to be made. As he was more attuned than ever to the awareness of his life's blood coursing through his veins, he was determined to face whatever obstacles that may arise in the future. He was not afraid to face what may come as the desire to never again step back into that empty emotionless existence that plagued his kind gave him the strength of heart, mind, and soul to confront any that would dare to get in his way.

The bright stars guide me to that which is of interest,
Any who will be patient for it to find them,
     teach them,
     stay with them until they join those stars. 
I am one already,

He let thoughts of enemies and others slip from his grasp as he focused on the other presence beside him. Under the night's sky, the dark black of which was dotted with a multitude of tiny lights, they had both been able to slip away from their traveling companions to steal yet another moment alone together away from intrusive eyes.

To him, since that first night they had talked with one another, despite his resolve to stay away, some mysterious force had continued to draw them together. He knew now that it was the pull of her presence combined with his own deep-seated longings, so buried and faint that he hadn't noticed at the time, which had paved the way to binding their souls even closer. As their paths had continued to cross, with the starlight as their guide, they had met under the cover of darkness with an increasing frequency with the passage of time.

I know not limits to the amount of life and,
   to share that with you,
Is now my entire purpose.

Watching her slumbering countenance as the warmth of her body pressed against him, was absorbed by him, he felt a peace that he had never experienced until she had made her presence known in his life. He was eager to share more such moments with her, more of many things life had to offer to them, in the near and distant future.

However, aside from bring hope, thoughts of the near and far future also brought him worries.

Despite the pleasure he took in her companionship, a niggling uneasiness managed to worm its way into his thoughts more and more frequently. Though they had overcome the invisible boundary that separated their races, the differences between them were still there and impossible to ignore much as he would rather not think of such concerns.

For she was as mortal as he was youkai and the lifespan of each was vastly dissimilar. Although he had made no mention of it to her as of yet, during the course of his travels, he had kept himself open to obtaining a method that would bring the diverse span of their lives to an equal level. By all the powers that he possessed, if there was a way for their lives to be bound together for all time, then he would seek it and make it theirs.

Let me in,
     you did.
Let me speak,
     you did.
Let me touch you
  with all the wondrous,
     beautiful things that I have known,
     I have experienced,
  I have loved.

For all she had done for him, all she had taught him, all she had shown him, he would not willingly lose her to any force whether it was of the physical or the non. The one thing he would absolutely not abide was to be parted from her forever. To have time's final gift of death steal her away was quite different from traveling down separate paths for, in the case of the latter, he was certain her companions would risk their own lives to ensure that she remained in this world with him until next they were able to meet again.

As the light of dawn crept over the horizon, he regretted, as he always did, having to release her from his presence once more.

It was ever thus, reality always intruding upon their solitary moments together, thrusting them back to their journeys and the companions accompanying them, the only knowledge of comfort being that they were sure to come together again on another night. For, no matter how far apart their travels took them, he swore to always find her wherever she may be. He, who had changed so much since experiencing the emotions she bestowed upon him, could never leave her long without him by her side and vowed, now and forever until the end of their time together, to always be there to the best of his abilities to share whatever pains or pleasures life chose to visit upon them.

I love still,
          you.

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Chapter 3: Parted

Setting sun,
  you cool the East
    and let the blanket of the night
      fall upon us all.

He stood solitary on a mountain's edge, overlooking the land below, and gazed at the shifting colors of the sky, a mix of warm and cool tones, as the sun sank on the horizon and night trailed in its wake. Alone, she and his own companions elsewhere for the moment, he was left with the thoughts ever present on his mind of late as the winds of fate blew, carrying the scent of change which signaled the turning point that the lives of all those concerned were about to undergo. It was inevitable, an unstoppable force that could not be escaped, only met and dealt with as destiny willed no matter what outcome were to lie ahead.

Such a soothing touch,
  it induces the sleep that all need
    to know the truth in themselves
      and the power of the evil
        that resides within shadow.

As the last rays of the sun disappeared entirely, leaving only the cloak of night and its twinkling jewels hanging overhead, he could not help but think of her and the battle to come. The thoughts that continuously circled his mind were not of himself but wholly reserved for her and the enemy, that insidious spider that wove his web again and again around them as he sought to entrap them within his dark plots. Because of the enemy's intent to either defile and corrupt her purity or eradicate her completely, the worry over even the smallest chance that such an event were to truly occur always remained to plague his soul.

Were she to be taken from him, no matter the manner, he would be unable to bear it.

Whatever the cost to himself, no matter what sacrifices he would have to make, he would give everything he had in his power to ensure her safety and well-being. To live on with his infinite lifespan without her was a price he was wholly unwilling to pay.

Though he knew she would abhor such thoughts, her tender heart wishing no sacrifices upon any mortal or immortal being under her care, he would risk all that he was, life and soul, to see that she continued to breathe and upon this earth even were he to fall and be parted from her in spite of all his efforts to remain by her side.

So many thoughts come in and leave my mind. 

Those of the present,
  the past,
    tomorrow.

Despite the dark possibility of defeat that clouded his consciousness, he was resolute and had no intentions whatsoever of failing, not when the prize at stake was so important. In times such as this, when keeping fading hopes alive became difficult, when distance parted him from her, he took solace in his memories of her as he always did. They trickled slowly across his mind in a random pattern, a mixture ranging from the past to hopes of the future but all centering around one ultimate goal, to take the steps necessary in ensuring that their destinies were to be bound to each other.

They had gone through too much to let things end easily, were it meant to at all, and have their chance at forever slide from their grasp.

It brought fresh worry to his heart, knowing that she felt the same desire to shield him as he did her for her mortality, when compared to the strength of youkai kind, made the chance that harm would befall her that much greater. He prayed silently, an action he only ever undertook for her, to whatever kind gods that had brought her unscathed through past skirmishes to continue their work and see her safely emerge in the one to come. Though he was fully aware of the power she possessed, as well as that of her companions, he was unable to completely vanquish his concern for her health and her heart, knowing she would suffer unbearably at any losses that would undoubtedly come the morrow.

It is today that I write to,
  today which captivates me
    to the point of exhaustion.

Soon, it would be soon. He could feel it in every fiber of his very being that the end was drawing near when the final resolution would be reached, answering the question as to whether it would be the spider that triumphed or be the one to be obliterated once and for all. A multitude of thoughts bombarded him, inundated with every possible scenario that could occur and that he mentally prepared himself to face and overcome, fortified his warrior's spirit and desire to emerge victorious. For they, he vowed, would be the ones to succeed.

I am out of the good,
  a place and way I long to be,
    that I have never truly been.

He prepared himself for a grueling battle, to fight by whatever means necessary to survive for he knew well that the enemy would use any method within his grasp, no matter how underhanded or despicable, to turn the tides to his favor. That spider was a cunning creature that would use the slightest weakness or inattention on the part of his opponents to strike and win the advantage. As long as that sinister enemy had the slightest bit of life and deviousness left within its flesh, he would always seek a way to make a comeback and take his vicious revenge by attacking with triple his previous devastating force until his goal was achieved.

Such was an event that he would not allow to happen, not with her life at risk.

He had a plan to deal with the spider once and for all, although he had refrained from telling her, knowing her pure and tender heart would disapprove of the harshness of his methods and the danger involved. Even knowing that she would protest, had she knowledge of what he intended, he was resolved to see it through.

That will change,
  for of you I will go there,
    work for the key to iron gates high above,
       scale bars too tightly woven to squeeze between,
        I will not cheat like so many around me,
I will accomplish by sweat of passion.

Afterwards, when it was over and they were finally together, never to be separated again, he would allow her to scold him to her heart's content for they would have finally attained all the time in the world, free from restrictions that attempted to keep them apart. A difficult goal to achieve, certainly, but not impossible as he had every confidence that his plan would succeed and was equally sure that she, loving him as she did, would forgive him and come to see his side of things eventually.

A thought.

A memory
  through still alive in my mind
    a memory in a day without you.

Remembering her loving nature made the silent longing in his heart worsen as he looked out across the plains below, cast in the shadows of the time that hovered between night and the early morn, into the distance that he could easily cross to reach the place where he knew she was located, no doubt slumbering in the presence of her comrades. Such thoughts had him desiring that her sleep be restful as the events that were to unfold with the coming of the new day might lead dark dreams to plague her in the nights to follow afterwards.

If the heavens were merciful enough to allow him to remain with her in the end, then he would soothe away any nightmares that chased her.

That desire gripped him, as did the memory of her as he recalled how last she looked before they had parted. Despite the dire situation that had loomed closer at hand, she had remained fairly unruffled, any concern that may have lingered in her expression had been without regard for herself and directed towards her companions and, especially, him.

You were in that thought,
  I will succeed and you are a part of that.
 
Thank you.

Though he disliked concerning her so, despised any cause that made her eyes darken worry, he had been reassured by the proof of the depths of her feelings for him that had seen their relationship through difficult situations in the past and would, if the Fates were benevolent, in the future. That last night they were together, her love had been very evident in the warm smile she had bestowed upon him, the parting embrace, the farewell kiss, all of which became memories that drove him on.

Thoughts of her always gave him the strength to do what he must, was transformed into the fuel for his determination to succeed.

No matter how hard things became, how much his soul cried out to be with hers even though the temporary separation was necessary, he bore it with a patience that she would be proud of. It was knowing that she suffered similarly, bravely, that he forced himself to do just as much, to be worthy of her affections.

I dream without you,
  but of being forever with you.

Yes, he took solace in his memories for, though she was not by his side physically, she was ever with him in his heart. And soon, very soon, the hour would come when he could take her, keep her by his side for all time and, once old enemies were cast aside, deal accordingly with any newcomers who dared to even think of coming between them.

Morning sun begins,
  another path to the evening West,
leaving the day to its own means,
  its own choices.

He was set, the time for their paths to converge once again was upon them. A new day was beginning, a day he knew would change it all, for better or worse. It was time for him to start out on the journey that would take him to the place where the paths of their destinies would be decided, clear the obstacles that stood in their way once and for all in a final battle to end all battles. There was absolutely no going back. For his happiness, for hers, for theirs, it would be seen through to the very end whatever that end may be.

The skies show my heart.

Clear.

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Chapter 4: Joined

Simple spider above my doorway,
     weave me a magic to catch the memories.
Those I have made here,
     and are still to come.

He watched silently as she played with the children, as energetic and free spirited as she ever was, her beauty undimmed in his eyes, despite the time that had passed since their first meeting which seemed so long ago and yet, in some respects, not so very distant at all. From that time to this, all that had occurred in between, no matter how difficult or how undemanding the situation had been at that moment, were precious memories held dearly by them both for, without them, they would not appreciate the present and their being together as much as they now did.

Or so she had told him many a time past and would, no doubt, again in the future though did not fully agree.

Things of the past, he did not need. Only her. As long as she was by his side, and remained so, he did not care as much as she did for looking back to what had gone before, especially the hardships that he disliked recalling as they brought to mind memories of her in deep emotional distress. Although, undoubtedly due to her influence and constant companionship which had subtly shifted over the passage of time the harsh manner of how he viewed things, there were moments when even he found his mind wandering back to the course of events that had brought them to this point, how their diverged paths had joined and become the one on which they traveled now, together.

Let them forever be a part of this place,
     almost sad.

Normally not one to spare time for regrets, he found himself wordlessly offering up thanks to the departed souls that had fought so valiantly in the chaos of that last vicious battle. Without them, he would surely have fallen and missed his chance to be here now, with her and the children, experiencing a peace and happiness of heart that, at one point in his life, had never thought possible for him.

But she, by simply being and remaining by his side throughout everything, had changed it all and he would have it no other way than.

Though, prior to her entrance into his life, he had thought little of the theory of reincarnation, he could not doubt it for she was the very proof of such a miraculous rebirth. And he could only wonder at whatever past deeds he may have done in his previous life to deserve such as blessing, such as her and all that she brought him, to be bestowed upon him.

With your eight and my two,
     ten can do great things. 
Great to the eye of those who have not tried,
     let them join in too.

There was a small part of him that even wondered if he should, perhaps give thanks to their enemy, that treacherous plot-weaving spider that had finally been eliminated once and for all along with those other parts of him that he had created. After all, were it not for that dark being of corruption, or the jewel that had brought them together, they might never have been taken to that turning point in their lives and he would not be here with her as he was now. For all his evil, the enemy had ended up accomplishing something good.

The spider would find it galling to know that their present happiness, in the long run, had been due to him.

Though he would never admit it out loud, the trials the enemy had put them through had been partial cause for his coming together with her. Perhaps they had even pushed him towards her much more effectively than had he been left to proceed on his own though he would never willingly confess to such ineptness on his part, except maybe to her. For certain, overcoming the obstacles that spider had been placed before them had made them depend on each other, bound them closer together just as they were tied now.

However, although their greatest enemy was gone and the closeness between he and her was as perfect as ever, that did not mean their lives had fallen into dullness.

On the contrary, life still had its surprises for them to deal with. But, no matter what new turns their path took, they had gotten through them, from tears to arguments to laughter, and would maintain doing so as time wore on. He looked forward to whatever the future may bring for he was willing to face anything as long as he had her with him in the years that would come.

The more,
  the better
   for this magic which you started,
    above my doorway.

For the path that had begun from a dark spider's weavings was still being traveled upon by them into the possibilities that stretched ahead.

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